


Smile

by Anuschja



Category: Jeremy Renner - Fandom
Genre: Feels, I don't know, I just got inspired, Implied/Referenced Sex, but maybe his, maybe? - Freeform, mostly mine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 13:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1780273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anuschja/pseuds/Anuschja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some thoughts that might be rolling around in his head during a photo shoot.</p><p> </p><p>This fic was inspired by two pics (posted within the fic).<br/>The first one gave me all kinds of feels, because although he smiles, his eyes speak a completely different language.<br/>And the second pic kind of helped make it all better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Jeremy Renner (although I'd really like one of my own).
> 
> Reviews are always welcome.

“ _Smile_ , Mr Renner!” the photographer requests – demands actually. “One more for your fans.”

 

I don't feel like smiling, but I still do it.

 

 

“Damn, that's a panty-melter,” his assitant mutters to herself.

Is she even aware I can hear her? Does she want me to hear her? What does she expect? That I drag her into a broom closet as soon as this fucking photo shoot is over, rip off her clothes, and fuck her into next week?

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to. I'm just a man after all, I have my wants, my desires. Besides, I never quite could turn down a woman in _need_.

But I would have to know that this would mean more to her than being able to tell people 'I fucked Jeremy Fucking Renner'.

Lately, there don't seem to be many people out there who want more than that.

It's not like I can go up to her and asker her intentions.

Or could I?

Maybe I should do just that, but people will be swarming all around me once the shoot is over. But I don't want to come over as rude by swatting them all away like flies so I can have a quick fuck.

No, I've had my share of quick fucks, meaningless moments with those kind of women; women in need, women who use the words 'panty melter' and look at me the way that assistant is looking at me. I know what she wants, I don't have to ask her intention. What she wants isn't really anything to do with me as a person, as a man, as much as me, the action figure, the movie star.

 

 

_For my fans._

My fans...

I didn't become an actor, thinking 'Man, I want fans'. I did it to express myself.

Fans come with the territory and I'm honored to have such a huge fanbase across the globe.

But what do they see when they look at this photo?

Are they immediately drawn to my smile, my mouth, my lips?

What do they think?

Do they imagine kissing me or me kissing them?

A chaste, close-mouthed kiss? A frantic clash of lips and teeth and entangled tongues?

 

Do they just see what they want to see?

 

Or do they see the whole picture?

 

Do they see that my smile doesn't quite reach my eyes?

 

Do they see that my eyes give away what I felt that moment the picture was taken?

 

What do they interpret the look in my eyes as?

Sadness, sorrow, loneliness, exhaustion, reluctance, pain, loss...?

It's not like they could ask me what I felt, how I felt.

 

Where are those people for whom the question 'How are you?' is more than a polite but meaningless phrase?

Who expect more of an answer than 'Good. How are you?', who truly want to know how I feel?

 

Do they even know, how hard it is to smile on command? To smile at nobody in particular? To smile at a face hiding behind a camera?

 

It's not like I don't want to smile _for_ my fans, but it's easier to smile _at_ my fans.

At fans like the little boy in the wheelchair in Sydney.

He was so genuinly happy about seeing me, about me signing his Avengers DVD.

I couldn't help but be happy for him, with him.

Smiling at him seemed so natural, so easy.

 

It reminded me why I do all this. Why I put up with random photo shoots and interviews.

This one little boy brought the knowledge back to me that there are people out there who care, who love what I do as much as I love doing it.

 

Maybe, in the end, it's all worth it.

Maybe there are people out there, who are truly happy about my smile, even touched by it.

 

And maybe there is even this one person, who is able to see behind the smile plastered on my face, who is able to see behind the façade, to interpret the look in my eyes.

Who is grateful for the little smile, but knows that I'm just playing along.

Who wants to know how I truly feel.

Who is just waiting for a chance to ask me that question and listen to my answer.

 

And for this person, I _smile_.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are always welcome.


End file.
